It's A Whole New World

Sometime after one of my many trips to the inner sanctum of porcelain where I go to present my previously-nearly-daily sacrifices of food, I had a weak moment. I dissolved against the yellow diamond checker patterned bathroom wall and proceeded to weep tears of hopelessness. After seven full weeks of losing my lunch, I felt pretty down. I was losing hope that it would all magically end in a mere week with the onset of my twelfth week of pregnancy as if someone flipped a switch in my body that lets the baby know that they can now begin the process of actually receiving nutrients from me.

I managed to compose myself, however, and did what any sane person does these days: ran to Google. I typed in "Why didn't anyone tell me pregnancy would be so hard?" and gained a treasure trove of information. The one that stands out to me the most was a blog that had me laughing so hard at how relatable it was and bursting out "Yes! Exactly!! Somebody gets it!" at random intervals that I was inspired. The idea of writing a blog so that somebody, somewhere would know that they were not alone appealed to me.

Desmond Tutu by BK licensed under CC by 2.0

When my husband got home, I said to him, "I think pregnancy may force me to write a blog". His face lit up as if he was a child and I had just told him we were leaving for Disney World in five days. "You should! Do it! Do it! You should totally do it!" he responded as he barely refrained from jumping up and down.

But I was reluctant. What would I say? What did I possibly have to offer the world except boring anecdotes from my wonderful life? What kind of impact could I possibly make on anyone's life? Then I started comparing. He happens to have a blog. It's all religious and beautiful and perfect. I am not that kind of person. I am real and raw and excruciatingly honest. I shared this with him and he tells me that this is a good thing, that people like that.

I'm still hesitating. Do I really want to do this? Tell the whole world my thoughts and hope that they can take something from it that just possibly helps them? That's a scary thought. I am so so so way too honest. Something is going to one day flow out of my fingers and everyone is going to see it and I am going to regret it and then it's going to go viral and then....

See? This is my issue. I worry too much. So I continued to procrastinate until one day as I do schoolwork, my husband walks up to me and asks for my email password. I'm currently quite focused on the paper that I'm writing for my business class and give it to him. I wonder momentarily what he's up to before I quickly get distracted as is often the case (I'm like the dogs off of "Up") and refocus on my intense paper.

Soon, I'm done with school and he's pulling me over to his computer. "Look!!" he says with that same look of delight on his face.

The boy has started a blog for me. I don't know how to react. I am secretly happy and excited but there is no way I can let him get off the hook so easily.

"Oh no...you didn't. Please tell me you didn't. You....you MADE me a blog?"

"Yes! Isn't it great?!" he lifts himself onto his toes and quickly sets himself back down again to emphasize the last word.

Now I'm obligated. I'm happy, excited, nervous, and worried all at once, but here I go. I took it on, changing the name to what I wanted, playing around until I found the right colors and font to fit my personality. I got excited, adding my description and really making it my own. I dabbled until I found my way around the place, and in just a few short moments, I became a blogger. I may stumble and storytell my way through, but at least I can be an encouragement to other moms the same way that blog was for me. This will be an adventure unlike any other. Won't you join me?